Funniest Toddler Moments Ever

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From the moment Faith could put words together to make sentences, she has been a comedienne.  I am probably biased, but I think she says the funniest things ever!  The old saying, “kids say the darnedest things”, has never been truer!  My mom always tells me that I should write down the things she says, because she will never believe it later.  So, I guess this post is my attempt to listen to my mom.

Faith has an extensive vocabulary for a two-year old.  Everyday she surprises me with words that she knows.  Our post, 5 Easy Ways to Increase your Child’s Vocabulary, discusses some of the things we did to help her vocabulary grow.

My Jokester

But, even more impressive than her vocabulary is her ability to reason.  She is a master manipulator already!  Here is a perfect example.  Right now ,while I am writing, Faith is sitting on the floor, in a laundry basket, watching Moana.  We just finished eating lunch about 30 minutes ago.  She just looked at me and said, “Mommy, my tummy hurts”.

A Master Manipulator

As a Hirschprung’s disease mommy, I have to take complaints of tummy pain as serious.  So, I begin tasking her all the questions, where does it hurt? Is it your belly?  Is it Miss Poop (her name for her stoma)?  I am deeply concerned, as a tummy ache could mean she is coming down with a bug.  And a bug for her could easily turn into a hospital stay.  You get the picture.

She then says it again, “my tummy hurts Mommy,”  But this time she adds, “I need some milk to make it feel better”.  I take a deep sigh of relief.  She just wanted some milk.  Even though Faith is two, she still drinks Elecare, Jr., a specialized toddler formula.  Her dad and I have been weaning her off of it, but she loves it.  She just had a cup of milk after her lunch a few minutes earlier.  So, she knew it was too early to ask for another cup.  Saying her tummy hurt and the milk would make it feel better, was her way of trying to trick me into getting her some milk…it worked.

Little incidents like this are a daily occurrence with Miss Faith.  It is always something.  She definitely keeps her dad and me on our feet, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.  Here are even more “Faith-isms” as I like to call them:

Body Part Blunders

First, you have to know that I taught Faith the correct name for her female body parts.  I believe it is important that children, especially girls, know the correct name for their parts. So, this leads me to the first “Faith-ism”:

Shopping with Faith

Faith and I were shopping at Wal-Mart.  I was pushing the cart, while she was riding.  We got to the baby section and I reach to pick up some wipes when Faith yells, “Mommy, are you buying wipes for my vagina?” Blushing and nodding I mumbled, “yes baby”.  What else could I do?  I grabbed the wipes as fast as I could and hurried to wine section.

Since we are on body parts, it’s good time to share a little toddler potty humor.   Faith has been potty trained for urine for several months.  But, while she was training, she made one of the funniest and most insightful comments ever.  Faith has a little potty, but also uses the “big” potty.  During this particular incident she was using the “big” potty.  It rarely took more than a few seconds to start to pee once she sat down. But, on occasion, I needed to prompt her to go.  I usually did this by asking, “where is the pee pee”?  Here is a conversation between us one evening:

Me: Faith, go pee pee

Faith:  OK

(a few moments go by with her sitting on the potty…and nothing)

Me:  Faith, can mommy hear the peepee?  Where’s the peepee?

Faith:  One minute, I’m making it in my vagina

Me:  Okay.

What else could I say?  After a few more moments, she started to pee. So, I guess she was telling the truth, and she was making it in her vagina.

Her First Real Joke

Like I said, Faith is a comedienne. But, you can imagine our surprise when she came home from daycare and told her first real joke at two.

Faith: How do you make a napkin dance?

Me:  I don’t know Faith, how?

Faith:  You put a little boogie in it!

Nicknames for Everyone

Faith loves to give people nicknames.  The funny thing is the nicknames stick.  It all started with her godfather, Shawn.  She calls him Spooky.  Why? We have no idea.  Her godmother is Dee Dee.  That one makes sense, her name is Deena.  Her adopted grandmother is G-baby.  And most recently, she changed her name, my name, and her dad’s name.  For Halloween, she was Moana.  Here’s the conversation how our names were changed:

Faith: Mommy! I am Moana.

Me: Yes, you are.

Faith:  You are Maui, mommy.

Me:  Okay.  But, if I am Maui, who is Daddy?

Faith:  He’s the boat.

It is almost Christmas; she still calls herself Moana, me Maui, and her daddy Boat.

Her Birth Story

My mom came to visit for Faith’s second birthday.  Faith must have been listening while my mom and I reminisced over what it was like when I went into labor.  This is the conversation:

Faith: Mommy, I was in your belly.

Me:  Yes, yes you were honey.  What were you doing in there?

Faith:  I was eating Snickers!  (Funny because I ate a Snicker ice cream bar, and then boom, my water broke)

Me:  Yes! You were eating a Snickers!  And then what happened?

Faith:  I said, let me outta here!

Merry Christmas!

She is something else.

It’s Christmas Time

While I can go on and on, here is one last story:

Christmas is around the corner, so our discussions center around what she wants from Santa.  Faith really is a sweet child and it does not take much to make her happy.  Her Christmas list consists of three items:

An L.O.L. Surprise Baby ball, Mickey Mouse puzzles, and a red scrubber ( that is toddler speak for a red loofah).  While the L.O.L Surprise baby ball is the most expensive item on her list, the one she specifically wants cost less than $10.  So, Faith’s whole list is under $20.  Of course, she will get more than this for Christmas, but I told her daddy that we need to enjoy it, because it won’t be long before she is asking for high-ticket items.

But, Christmas is not about gifts.  We want Faith to understand that it is the birth of Christ that makes this day a true holy-day.  So, for the last “Faith-ism” here is the conversation about Christmas:

Me: Faith, do you know what Christmas is?

Faith: I dunno

Me:  It’s Jesus’ birthday!
Faith:  *Excited* YAY! I have to get Him a present.

Me.  What are you going to get Him?

Faith:  A toy… from McDonald’s

I thought maybe she missed the meaning of Christmas .  But like someone told me,  Oh she got it.  After all, what’s a better gift to a toddler than a McDonald’s toy!

There is never a dull moment in our house.  Faith keeps us on our toes for sure.  She is so smart and witty.  I would love to hear the funny things your kids have done or said! Please take a moment and share a funny story.


5 thoughts on “Funniest Toddler Moments Ever

  1. My mom also always taught us the real names for things. One day they were getting ready to have guests and my mom told my sister “We’re going to use the China for dinner” referring to the nicer dishes that we only used when there were guests. My sister was like, “Mom… the CHINA?!…” My mom didn’t get why she was being so weird and was like, “yes… The china.” Then my sister pointed to her privates and was like “THE CHINA?!?!!?” Then my mom understood. LOL

    1. OH MY GOODNESS! That is so funny! Your sister was probably so confused! Perfect example of why we should use proper names!

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